I feel like I’m walking a tightrope a lot in my life. An ironic enough metaphor when you learn that I don’t walk at all, in day to day life. I use a wheelchair. In my case a motorised one named Paulette.

The fact that it is electric is significant for the ecological impact that I get pangs of guilt for periodically, leading to part of the reason I want to be a minimalist. A major and much more important reason for wanting to be a minimalist is that as a a socially capable introvert I love the idea of being as small (impact wise) as possible on the planet and yes on the general public as well.

But at the same time as I love the idea of living with less and yes I have read all the books, it doesn’t feel like I can fully commit. Some of those reasons are “simply” choice. Some at least seem to be functionally related to the aforementioned disability. These include perhaps more obvious things: owning one towel won’t work when you sit on one when you get out of the shower and dry with the other. But many are more subtle, plastic bottles are easier to open and lighter to carry than their glass counterparts, plastic bags are useful for hanging things in reach of smaller overworked arms.

But oh I do so want to be a minimalist with a capsule wardrobe or a single dress that I hand wash in home made organic soap while preparing a fully organically slow cooked meal out of my single bamboo bowl and cookware. All this while handling a full time life.

I know that there isn’t supposed to be guilt or comparison in this space. But if I don’t benchmark myself I slide into excess. This I know. I use the disability as an excuse, beyond needing to be reasonable.

To see how I do, watch this space.